Through this blog post I reached this page that refers to the “Manusmriti Vishnupuran” in order to throw some light upon the procedure of defecation. It says, before releasing your potty into the mortal world
- Chant a mantra
- Roll the sacred thread and put it on your right ear
- Cover your head with a cloth and in the absence of cloth, cover it with your sacred thread
While you are defecating, don’t say anything (no wonder I’m constipated — I’m always singing). You can face north when you are defecating during day, and south when unleashing during night. Don’t face the sun, the fire, the moon, or the Brahmin (Why on earth would a Brahmin be in front of you while you defecate?)
Then there are various procedures for handling water and washing your linga (penis) and guda (anus). For instance, hold the water in your right hand and then using your left hand wash your linga once and guda three times. Then wash your left hand ten times and the right hand seven times. While washing you need to rub the earth (soil/dirth) to your linga and guda (this must be painful).
I’m sure all these procedures were defined to keep yourself and the environment around you clean and free of disease, especially during those days when you had to go out in the “jungle” (in fact in rural India people actually say, “Jungle jaa raha hoon” — going to the jungle) to ease yourself.
The only problem is the mantra. At times when you don’t even have enough time to lower your pants and position your butt properly, how the hell do you have time to chant a mantra? Just imagine, standing in your bathroom with your pants and undies down, holding your shirt up, using all your might to control your bowels, and chanting
Gachhantu Rishio Deva
Pishacha ye cha grihya ka
Pitrbhutagana surve
Karishye Malamochanam
