Chaundavi Ka Chaand Ho

This is my first attempt at recording a song in my own voice and putting it on YouTube.  I generally don’t like my voice and for a couple of weeks I had stopped practicing.  Yesterday I felt like singing and after having sung a few songs I felt like recording them.  Give me an opinion if you have one and be frank.  I know there are some mistakes and my voice sounds a bit immature and "youngish" and I am trying to improve that and I think it is going to take another six to eight months.  In the meantime I will be recording more songs and sharing them with people just to see how I am improving.  The strengths in the song — according to my opinion – are that I have sung this song with clarity, with good diction, with expressions and feelings.  I will constantly try to improve.  The lyrics of the song are: Chaundavi ka chaand ho, ya aftab ho, jo bhi ho tum khuda ki kassam, lajvab ho.